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Emotional sobriety: Why it's important for staying sober

paulettecrowley

Updated: Jan 23

worried woman in orange jumper
Having feelings isn't wrong – it's a normal human response to life.

So, you've finally managed to put down the drink after what seemed like an endless battle.


But just being free from alcohol is only one part of being sober. Another crucial element of permanent abstinence is what is known as emotional sobriety and it's important if you want to stay sober.


Smiling woman with short hair against a white background
Managing your emotions without alcohol is a skill.

Why emotional sobriety is so important in staying sober

So what is emotional sobriety? The team of clinicians at Ocean Hills say emotional sobriety essentially means being able to regulate your thoughts, feelings and actions. This is no easy task for many people but if you've been a heavy drinker for years, there's a good possibility that your emotional development might not have progressed as far as it could have if you weren't drinking.


How so? If you think about it, what did you do with emotions – particularly big, unmanageable feelings – before you got sober? You probably had a drink, which probably numbed the feeling or made it seemingly disappear.


Emotional sobriety is about being able to handle all emotions – good and bad – without wanting to change them or escape them. Although managing feelings is easier said than done, with the right skills, tools and support, it is possible if you practice.


Seeking professional support from a registered health professional is always a good idea if you are constantly struggling with managing your emotions.


The words tips and tricks on a blue wooden background
Gathering tools, learning new skills and seeking support are important parts of cultivating emotional sobriety.

Ocean Hill's 6 top tips for emotional sobriety


  • Having feelings isn't wrong – it's a normal human response to life.

  • Rather than fighting a feeling, challenge yourself by sitting with it for two minutes in a quiet, safe space. Take long, deep breaths and don't try to resist the feeling. See if this reduces the intensity of the feeling.

  • Don't act straight away – give yourself time to process the feeling before reacting. Once the intensity of the emotion has faded you might feel different.

  • Good feelings can be as hard to manage as bad feelings, especially in sobriety. How many times have you wanted to celebrate something good with a drink? Again, give that good feeling time to pass before you act on it.

  • Sharing your feelings with a trusted friend, or writing them down, can help take the charge out of them.

  • Looking after your physical health directly affects your emotional health. Healthy food, regular movement, lots of quality sleep and water and good social connections will help every aspect of your wellbeing.


If you're looking for professional support for your drinking or that of someone you love, call Elaine on 027 573 7744 for a confidential chat or contact us here.



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