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When the Ocean Hills Rehab team speak to people who have “fallen off the wagon”, or gone back to drinking after a period of sobriety, invariably there is a common theme to conversation.
“I got busy with ….”. Fill in the blanks with work, kids, or a project.
They never say, “I got busy working on my recovery.”
It may sound harsh but this is the cold reality of sustainable sobriety. If you put it last, you will lose everything that you prioritise before it. That means your health, children, job, house and friends. It means everything.
Here’s what *Maree told us about what kept her from getting sober as she slipped and slid through 20 years of relapses.
“I’d been to rehab when I was quite young, and stayed sober for almost a year. I was only 20 years old, and I wanted to have fun with my friends to fit in, and enjoy being young, so I decided to drink again.
"For the most part didn’t want to, get sober until I had a child at 30. Then I made a big effort to stop drinking. This time I didn’t do rehab but went to 12-step meetings and met lots of people. The support was great for a while but I stopped going to meetings because I was so busy with my child.
In reality, I was a drunk mother.
“It only took a few months of not getting support and I was back to drinking again. I kept trying to stop but I could only last a few days or a week off the bottle. I tried to go back to meetings but I didn’t want to leave my daughter with a babysitter.
“That pattern went on for the best part of the next 14 years. I thought I was being a good mother because I wouldn’t leave my child but the reality was, I was using that as an excuse for me to keep drinking. In the first few years, I would usually wait until she had gone to sleep before I poured myself a drink but gradually, I became less careful and drank in the late afternoons.
"I was absolutely kidding myself that I was being a good mother by not leaving her and then my subsequent child with anyone. In reality, I was a drunk mother. Knowing what I know now, I should have left her with a babysitter so I could go and get the support that I needed to get properly sober and stay that way.”
10 x top tips to put your sobriety first
Recovery from substance abuse doesn’t happen by accident. It takes commitment to a daily practice of sobriety and self care. Here's what the Ocean Hills team advise as a starting point for putting your sobriety first.
Use the sober skills you have learned at Ocean Hills rehab or from other sources.
Engage with professional support on an ongoing basis.
Eat good food regularly and drink a lot of water.
Get enough sleep and rest.
Move your body every day.
Connecting with others.
Keep on top of stress.
Use mindfulness and meditation practices.
Live as simply as possible.
Stay away from triggers – people, places or things that make you want to drink.
A sober day will include many small decisions that keep you on track to stay away from that first drink. But the most important decision that you’ll make every day is to put your sobriety first. Only then will you get to enjoy a rich, healthy and sustainable life that sobriety will give you.
If you're looking for support to get sober for yourself or someone you love, give Elaine a call on 027 573 7744 for a confidential chat or contact the team here.
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