Anyone who has struggled with their use of alcohol can tell you there is a big difference between stopping drinking and staying sober.
Staying sober with self care an absolute game changer if you're wanting lasting sobriety.
Most people can white-knuckle their way to stopping drinking for a day, or a few days, or even a week or month. But staying sober calls for much more than willpower – it calls for looking after yourself, which is not something heavy drinkers are very good at.
An Ocean Hills guest shared her 'self-care' while she was drinking, which is is typical for most people struggling with addiction. Far from healthy, it was just reacting to problem after problem, all the way creating more problems. Here's what she did:
Gulp litres of water in the morning (I was dehydrated from a hangover) and gobble some painkillers for the killer headache I had.
Forced vigorous exercise to counteract the guilt, remorse and shame from drinking too much, once again.
Giving in to the craving for fatty and salty hangover food to calm my stomach.
Swearing I wasn't going to drink again, ever. Or eat junk food again, really.
A nap, which was really collapsing in a heap because I was exhausted and sick and too hungover to function.
Having a wine, cos the anxiety was so bad that I needed something to settle my nerves, and I deserved a pick-me-up after the miserable day I'd had.
Drinking until I passed out.
Next day, repeat.
Staying sober with self care
Looking after yourself is a non-negotiable if you want to stay sober. Here's what the Ocean Hills team recommends you do assist you in building sustainable sobriety:
Prioritise sleep - practice good sleep hygiene by going to bed around the same time every night. Have a gentle, calming routine before bed time and keep technology out of your room overnight.
Exercise regularly - aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. Walking, cycling, swimming and gym workouts are all good for your heart, body and sobriety.
Spend time in nature - get outside as much as you can, even when it's overcast. Morning light in our eyes is good for our circadian rhythms and being around trees, sky and the sea is excellent for our mental health.
Eat fresh, whole foods as much as possible for your body and mood. Treats are okay occasionally but make the fresh, healthy food the mainstay of your diet.
Drinks lots of water. Get into the habit of carrying water with you or stopping for a drink every time you pass the kitchen.
Rest when you're tired. Rather than push through the urge for a nap or rest, give your body what it needs to recharge and refocus. You won't make good decisions when you're tired and low in energy.
Meditate/contemplate: Take some time out to give your mind a rest and relax you. This might look a yoga class, breath work or guided meditations.
Do things that are fun and make you happy - if you like painting but never do it, make time to do it. If you love reading but aren't in the habit of doing it, buy a good book to get back into it. If you love eating out, book a table at your favourite restaurant for you and a friend.
Connect with people - make contact with people who matter to you regularly. Rather than just texting or calling, arrange to visit them, or meet for a walk or coffee. Connection with others is crucial part of staying sober - the opposite of addiction is connection.
Practice gratitude: having a reflective habit such as gratitude grounds us and helps us to appreciate things we may take for granted. You can record what you're grateful in a journal, or share it with a friend.
If you or a loved one is struggling with alcohol, contact Ocean Hills founder Elaine on 027 574 7744. You can also check out our admissions page here.
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