Sobriety milestones – why they matter

Nancy* had been trying to get sober for years. Every time she reached 30 days without a drink, she collected a chip at her peer support group, who cheered her on with great support.

But then she'd relapse and would be ashamed that once again, she was back to the beginning of counting her sober days.

After four or five times of getting a month up and relapsing yet again, she gave up marking her sober time. After a while, she stopped going to her peer support group meetings because she had lost faith that she was ever going to get sobriety for good. Every time she looked at her pile of 30-day chips, it reminded her that she felt she could never stay sober and she was filled with shame.

That's where she went wrong.

Honouring sobriety milestones helps accountability

With no support and no accountability, Nancy's relapses turned into a blur. After a few months of returning to drinking, she had lost faith that she'd ever been able to get and stay sober.

When she arrived at Ocean Hills, Nancy learnt that marking her sober time was one of the most important things she could do in her recovery. Just one day a time, a sober practice prompts us to celebrate our wins, as well as learn from our losses.

Peer support groups are a great way to honour sobriety milestones, such as 30, 60, 90 days and yearly 'soberversaries', but they're not the only way. Many people find using a sober app - there are many free ones out there - a good way to remind themselves of their progress. Some of these apps also offer daily affirmations and other sobriety material that can help your recovery.

Honour your milestones with trusted family members, friends or a peer support network.

Another way to honour your progress is to share with your progress with a counsellor a trusted friend in recovery, or a supportive family member. You could also mark it on a calendar and keep it fixed to the fridge, or somewhere you'll see if often.

It's also good to remember that although the traditional sobriety milestones are wonderful to achieve and important to note, every 24 hours of sobriety you experience is a gift. Whether you have 20 years sober or just a few days or weeks, today is the only day any of us have.

Whatever way you choose to mark your sober days the crucial thing is to never give up on giving up. With the right professional and personal support, you can get and stay sober for good if you just keep trying.

Nancy* is not her real name. We've changed her name for privacy reasons.

If you're looking for support to get sober for yourself or someone you love, give Elaine a call on 027 573 7744 for a confidential chat. Private, premium seaside rehab - fees apply.